We don't mess with mental load!

by Axelle Gay

SEXISM IN RELATIONSHIPS / MENTAL LOAD

Sexism is omnipresent and complex. We experience it daily in different forms, and sometimes it's hard to identify, defend ourselves, or react in the moment. The hardest part can also be making some people understand or hear that their remarks, gestures, or behaviors are hurtful, inappropriate, and sexist! For example, how do you explain to your boyfriend that the home is a shared space for two, and therefore everyone should take care of it 50/50?

Attack: Your boyfriend, with whom you've lived for 6 months, asks you: "Where do you put the laundry detergent?"

→ The "mental load," a concept popularized by cartoonist Emma, refers to the fact that in a couple, responsibilities related to household logistics (groceries, cleaning, cooking, holidays, children's school, children's health, etc.) most often fall on women's shoulders, who spend their time anticipating hundreds of micro-tasks per day, and who end up exhausted.

→ Idea for a comeback: "The laundry detergent is next to the washing machine, and the sponge is next to the dish soap. Good luck!"


Attack: During lockdown, you have a conference call and your boyfriend says: "How do you expect me to watch the kids? You can see I'm working!"

→ Lockdown exacerbated inequalities in the division of tasks in households, particularly concerning childcare. Many women reported that their partners believed their work was more important than theirs, which is obviously false and unacceptable!


→ Idea for a comeback: "Apparently, you're in good physical condition for it; you should be able to manage!"

RESOURCES on mental load:

liv stromqist jeu feministe